Weapons of mass destruction

January 23, 2010 at 7:05 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments

Every neurosurgery service needs at least one blue-eyed, blond-haired female among its residents and attendings.  I am probably going to be tarred and feathered by my female colleagues for making this point, and yet I doubt anyone could truly deny it with a straight face: most males 15-50 who are in any way conscious and processing visual information are going to have a better neuro exam for someone they find attractive.  Which by conventional standards in our society is the blue-eyed blond girl.  If they’re capable of regarding and tracking, they’ll do so.  If they can follow commands and talk, they will.

The same can be said of female patients and male doctors.  But the fact is that most trauma patients are males 18-35.

I’d always considered looks more of a liability than an asset for women in this field.  You know, the whole, “why do you feel it necessary to do this kind of grueling, depressing work when you could easily have married well, and be off having smart, good-looking children while your husband earns a living instead?”  Nobody really gets it, and frankly I ask myself that question as well.  There’s no rational answer.  Other than that I like to work, and no guy has yet convinced me it’s a good idea to have kids with him.

I’m not against the idea of kids in principle, but I’m not having any unless I also have the resources to raise them well.   End of subject.

Anyway, I’ve noticed that with certain patients, the nurses and I routinely get better exams than the male residents do.  And not just that, I’ve noticed that I get better exams when I wear my hair down than when I wear it in a ponytail or up in a bun or twist.  It’s actually kind of funny, and on a couple of occasions recently I’ve been sent in to see patients in that demographic who won’t respond to any of the residents.  But I can get an exam.  I don’t fool myself that I’m any better at examining patients than they are–it has absolutely nothing to do with skills or knowledge.  But at least I’ve finally found an acceptable use for the blond hair and blue eyes.