The null hypothesis

March 1, 2008 at 12:37 pm | Posted in personal favorites | Leave a comment

I’m post-call and in a good mood today, so I’m going to share a rule of mine with you that’s saved me a lot of heartache over the years. Not always, of course, but often enough.

First of all, I don’t have a lot of rules about how I deal with men. But the one I have is important, and it’s this: never, ever think you will be different. Whatever he’s done to his previous girlfriends, you can expect it will happen to you if you get involved with him.

I have seen it happen more times than I can count. A woman finds some guy attractive, and convinces herself that he won’t treat her like he’s treated the women before her. And invariably, she’s utterly wrong. I’ve fallen in the trap myself on occasion, and kicked myself later for being so stupid.

The thing is, at some point, a few of those men will get involved with a woman and not do that to her. Which is why we all hang on to the hope that we’ll be that one. But statistically speaking … no.

So what’s the solution? I don’t know. What I do know is that the woman shouldn’t have to do the convincing on this point, either of herself that he won’t do this to her, or of the man in question that she deserves better. Either it will or it won’t be different, and all that can be done is to keep that in mind until the truth reveals itself. Or not get involved in the first place, which is also always an option.

Then again, using this as my basic assumption means that it takes a lot to convince me otherwise. And that’s probably why I’m still single.